Menopausal Focus? What's That?

I feel like I'm just starting to grow up and I have no idea what it is I want to be.  Do you ever feel that way? After homeschooling my two kids for about 14 years I decided to go back to school.  I'm finishing my degree in psychology.  People ask what I'm going to do with the degree and I shrug my shoulders.  I don't know.  I'm fifty years old with no kids to follow after and no direction.  My purpose flew out the window with my kids.  I feel so unfocused sometimes, like I want to accomplish something noteworthy but have no idea what it is.  I consider saving starving orphans or fighting poverty, maybe helping pregnant teens or volunteering with special needs kids but then I get overwhelmed and think, how the heck will I do that?  We're only fifteen years away from retirement and all the money supposedly earmarked for retirement went into educating our kids. I need to bring in some mula, hard cash, greenbacks, money or else we won't be able to retire.  We'll end up in a basement suite at our kids house. I don't have time to save the world.

I know I'm not the only one feeling this way. In my women's groups we talk about lack of direction and feeling confused about the future. We all seem to suffer from the same lack of focus.  We get on one tack and then find ourselves easily distracted on to another one. We want to accomplish significance but end up skipping from one desire to the next.

Maybe that's the problem, I'm not able to focus long enough to discover my purpose and direction. I don't sit still long enough to finish formulating an idea.  It's  frustrating, just when I've reached the point when I can move through life free of concern about what other people think I don't know what direction to move in.

My girlfriend's beau walked out on her after eight years together.  She's not dealing well with it.  At fifty she wants to hold on to the familiar.  It's safe and secure.  She went away for a week to try and get her focus back. Her son has one more year of high school, she has a house that needs fixing up and more educational upgrading for her job. She believed her purpose in mid life would be to build and grow her relationship with dipstick. Everything's changed now. She's paddling around the Broken Islands trying to rediscover who she is through a fog of menopausal hormones, loss and pain. She wants the familiar but she also wants to feel okay to move on and explore new relationships and find relevance in doing something important.  She's confused.

So am I! I think mid life and menopause should be defined as that stage in a woman's life where making a decision becomes painful and keeping mentally focused is impossible. When I decide what it is I want to be when I grow up, I'll let you know.

What do you think?

Have A Comment You'd Like to Share?

Feel like you want to rant or rave about menopause and mid life? Well, go ahead share it!