Transformation on Vancouver Island

I promised an update on my girlfriends journey to the West Coast of Vancouver Island.  Her boyfriend of eight years recently told her that he wasn't finished looking for the perfect partner.  She came up to the island to get away from reminders, kids and work.  Time a way to think is always useful.

Her boyfriend, who is aptly named "dipstick", was what my friend calls a typical "alpha male".  He took charge or control, depending on which side of the relationship you're looking from, and cared for her in ways her ex husband never could or would.  What happens when someone else takes care of us?  We get used to it and she did.  She came to truly appreciate all dipstick did as an alpha male.  Unfortunately, now that he's gone, she finds it difficult to get in to that self reliant, capable mode once again. Another reason for her trip up island.  She needed to show herself as well as dipstick, that she could survive and thrive quite nicely without him.

So, she strapped her kayak on to her car (something dipstick promoted he did better than anyone else) and drove all the way up to Tofino to kayak Kennedy Lake.  One thing you need to know about my friend is that she fears dark water.  Though Kennedy Lake is not deep, it is dark with shadows of downed trees and stumps everywhere.  She had quite the conversation with herself.  I would have liked to have been a fly on her boat! She spent a whole day on the lake facing fears, conversing with herself and allowing change and transformation to happen.

When she related the story to me later, I could hear the strength in her voice, the determination and resilience that I hadn't heard for the last couple of years. Through a simple act, a first step, she transformed her loss into a motivational event for change. It started a whole cascade of mental and emotional shifts in thinking and acting. She's now talking about renovating her house, selling her old beater car and getting a roommate so she can be free to travel in a couple of years.

Wow!  And to think at one time she looked at dipstick leaving as a bad thing!  It looks like it could have been the best thing ever!

How are you transforming mid-life?  Let us know.  It isn't difficult, just fill out the secure form below and we can start talking!

Have A Comment You'd Like to Share?

Feel like you want to rant or rave about menopause and mid life? Well, go ahead share it!